I wonder if I'll be seriously homesick or feel as though I was meant to be up North all along?
There are so many things running through my head daily..On top of the normal things.
One of the craziest parts about all of this is that I'm finally leaving Florida. I've whined and complained for years about the heat, about how I'd love to just move up North when I graduate, about how I've always felt like I was meant for a big city. And here it is, less than a month away, and it's so scary.
The only way I can explain how I'm feeling is this: Remember when you were graduating highschool, and you were SO sick of certain things about your town, the people in our life, your situation, etc.? But at the same time you were terrified of leaving because it was what had been "normal"? That's it. That's me right now-I love and hate Pensacola and I know I can be successful up North but at the same time I absolutely adore some people here.
My grandparents, mom and I before my sister's graduation, the year I graduated highschool.
"I wonder how I'll ever live without Publix..."
"I wonder how I'll survive shopping at the Piggly Wiggly.."
Seriously, folks. These are the kind trivial things you worry about when you're nervous about moving.
Just the other day:
Manager: So when's your last day exactly?
Me: I'm not sure yet, I still have to figure that out...I"ll let you know.
Manager: Not like it matters anyway, you won't be doing any work.
Me: True, I'll probably just be aimlessly walking around all day, sporadically crying.
Manager: (Laughter)
So I've become this person who hardly ever cries, but if there's one thing that'll break me down, it's leaving people. I have less than a month to perfect my crying because I've got a lot of leaving to do! No ugly crying faces for this college grad! Haha.
When do you get to the city? I'm here until mid-May, and I would love to see you!
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